2008 started out as a bad news year. I’ve had news of friends and family members losing their jobs, serious illnesses within my extended family, and the death of a cousin who was so loved and will be deeply missed by many. All this bad news came while I, along with everyone around me, it seemed, fought off a miserable winter virus with chicken soup and hot tea. I spent the first month of 2008 just wishing things would get better for everyone who is having a bad time.
Having lived through similar challenges myself, it was not difficult for me to empathize with the troubles of my friends and relatives and to become sad when thinking about how quickly good times can turn bad. Sometimes I need to remind myself how important it is to be grateful for all the good in my life. A habit of gratitude enriches the good times and helps us through the tough times that are bound to come. In my volunteer work, I talk to folks who are in some very tough circumstances, and I’m constantly surprised by how cheerful, strong, and optimistic some are. Their gratitude, whether it is for a long life that was good most of the time, people who care, small everyday pleasures, or memories of loved ones who are gone, keeps them going and helps them find the joy in life underneath the sadness.
Showing posts with label bereavement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bereavement. Show all posts
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Sunday, June 17, 2007
A Sad Anniversary
I woke up Monday morning feeling sad for no apparent reason. That cloud of gloom hung over me all day, and it wasn’t until the following morning that I realized I had “forgotten” the anniversary of my late husband Wayne’s death twelve years ago. After twelve years, my conscious mind barely acknowledges the day anymore, but something deeper doesn’t allow me to forget it.
I was on four days of bereavement leave for my father’s funeral when Wayne’s cancer entered its terminal stage. Still numb from my father’s sudden death, I managed to secure the services of a live-in attendant to help me care for Wayne at home. That Monday I felt that everything was under control and returned to work; but I was at work for only an hour when the attendant phoned me to return home immediately. The trip took 45 minutes in the freeway traffic, and when I arrived, Wayne was dead. He was about the same age I am now, an unfinished life.
The world has changed so much in those twelve years. Wayne died before the O.J. Simpson verdict, 9/11, and the Afghanistan and Iraq wars. Very few people had cell phones then, or had heard of iPods or digital cameras. I have also moved on, so that my life is now at a better place than I ever could have imagined at the time. Reflecting on Wayne’s death reminds me not to take life for granted, or to expect that life-changing events won’t happen again, but to count my blessings and enjoy each day that I am given on this earth.
I was on four days of bereavement leave for my father’s funeral when Wayne’s cancer entered its terminal stage. Still numb from my father’s sudden death, I managed to secure the services of a live-in attendant to help me care for Wayne at home. That Monday I felt that everything was under control and returned to work; but I was at work for only an hour when the attendant phoned me to return home immediately. The trip took 45 minutes in the freeway traffic, and when I arrived, Wayne was dead. He was about the same age I am now, an unfinished life.
The world has changed so much in those twelve years. Wayne died before the O.J. Simpson verdict, 9/11, and the Afghanistan and Iraq wars. Very few people had cell phones then, or had heard of iPods or digital cameras. I have also moved on, so that my life is now at a better place than I ever could have imagined at the time. Reflecting on Wayne’s death reminds me not to take life for granted, or to expect that life-changing events won’t happen again, but to count my blessings and enjoy each day that I am given on this earth.
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