On Swing Dancing and Flying Fish

One of the saddest things about becoming mature, responsible adults is that we seem to lose the ability to have fun along the way. It’s not easy to be spontaneous and play and laugh while dealing with all the pressures of a job and family and paying the bills, but we need fun to make life bearable and to get through the stressful times.

I took up swing dancing about a year after the deaths of two close family members. It was a great release, and for the first time in years, I experienced pure, exhilarating fun, the kind of fun I once felt as a child flying through the air on a playground swing. After awhile, though, as I took more and more lessons to improve my technique and style, performance anxiety set in and the pressure to be a better dancer grew. I started taking swing dancing seriously, and in doing so introduced stress into what had once been a purely fun activity.

Part of re-learning to have fun, I think, is making an effort to NOT take things too seriously. My former work group had a unique way of doing this: they strung large, colorful, stuffed fish from the ceilings above their desks and accessorized them according to the seasons. The sheer ridiculousness of the fish helped them to laugh at themselves and became a creative outlet and bonding mechanism for the group. Unfortunately, when the group came under new management, the fish were banished from sight. They were seen as “unprofessional.” Although the flying fish did not hinder productivity in any way, the message from management was clear: fun and work do not mix. Our adult egos tend to view anything fun with suspicion or guilt. The fish were neither threatening nor subversive. They were merely silly. But as sometimes happens, the trivial takes on a deeper importance when taken away.

It often seems that when life is toughest, the reaction is to ban all fun and get serious. Maybe it’s time to re-think that natural reaction and look for ways to lighten up when the going gets rough.